To the Albert Hall this evening (the Brussels-based Albert Hall, that is) for the annual press review, written, staged and performed by members of the Brussels-based press corp under the genial direction of the multi-talented Geoffe Meade, longstanding Europe editor of the Press Association. It was, I think, a vintage year. There was a great collection of ascerbic witticisms (‘If the left get in there’ll be nothing right and if the right get in there’ll be nothing left.’). Maximus Twitterus moaned about the I-Stone and Facerock. Europe adopted a motion ‘by equanimity’. One country yokel proclaimed that the British believe in the single market and his friend replied ‘yes, but we don’t do it’. And both concurred that the UK’s relationship would ‘probably end in tears – two tiers.’ There were timely references to ‘Trojan horse meat’ and, of course, Pope Benedict’s retirement (‘really giving up something for Lent’), ‘the first time a leader had given up his position to spend less time with his family’, which was rounded off with a little Verdi (‘Il papa e mobile’). Dalian Lombardino gave this wonderful performance as ‘press room poet laureate’. And the troupe marched off at the end, singing, to the melody of a First World War soldiers’ song, ‘So long, Europe, we must leave you. Why we’re going isn’t clear.’ A wonderful night’s entertainment.
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